Where can I find the Paedofinder General?

I hate children.  They’re noisy and stupid and touch things with sticky fingers and they smell and scream and cry for no particular reason and they’re ugly too.  Your child is particularly hideous.  The worst thing I can imagine is having to be in the same room as a screaming baby and a bunch of people all cooing over it like it’s something special.  Passing it to each other and saying “A goo-goo doh boh, who’s a baby?” and other cretinous things.  Praising it for shitting itself and the like.  Bwah.  The fact that people love babies confuses me on a number of levels, but I acknowledge that it is a thing, mostly just a mothering/fathering instinct thing, and people are going to do it.  What I despise is the marketing department that sells to these people.

 

Consider for a moment what you see on the packaging of a box of nappies.  Probably pictures of a baby in a nappy.  Maybe pictures of the mum wiping her baby’s already clean bum.  Maybe not, though.  Maybe the marketing department has gone a bit too far.  Maybe it’s just a picture of a naked baby. 

 

That marketing department has just made you look at a naked baby.  You didn’t make that choice – they are responsible for shoving that image in front of you.  What you should think about is the fact that someone was paid to film that baby naked.  In fact, think about the guy above him on the corporate paedo ladder, who said “Hey, I know.  Let’s put a naked baby on the box!”.  Hell, let’s go further.  The Paedo seargent above him probably had a study done.  Targeted marketing towards people with newborn babies, showing them a collection of naked baby images and gauging their reaction, coming to the conclusion that the strongest emotive response came from seeing a naked baby in a particular pose, of a particular ethnicity and with a particular expression on it’s ugly fucking face and then brought this information to the lunchtime meeting.  So they put naked babies in the adverts, on the boxes, in your God damn face.  Doesn’t it make you a bit uncomfortable that they use naked pictures of babies to sell you stuff?  Think of how much effort they put into taking naked pictures of babies.  Think of how many pictures of naked babies this marketing department has.  Think of paedophiles.  Get as uncomfortable as you like.

 

I hate adverts more than I hate self-righteous athiests getting all “I know more than you about athiesm, so I’m better than you”, but naked baby adverts take the fucking rusk.  I hope everyone involed goes on fire.  Permenantly.  If I knew who you fucking paedo-panderers were, I’d lynch you.  You are absolute scum, and you’re making the world a worse place on a daily basis.  People who work in marketing should take note of how utterly meaningless their lives are.  Their time is spent working to encourage people to buy things they don’t need or want.  They are nothing more than paid liars who’s continuing use of the available air is an insult to the rest of us.  If you’re in the baby products marketing department, you’re all fucking paedophiles to boot.  All of you.  Why does that baby have to be naked?  Why does it have to be on all sides of the box?  You’ve made it so that there’s no way you can arrange the box without seeing a naked baby.  You all deserve to die of dysentary.

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About harrypeat

I'm a happy-go-lucky chap with a zest for life and the resting heart rate of a yellowfin tuna. I love long walks on the beach at dusk, paintings of elderly couples, and vegan dinners by candlelight. As well as being a talented rhythmic jazz guitarist, I am a part-time vblogger and all-round gymnast.
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