Why does God punish me?

So I’m all like, “Whoa, better check on this dead horse I was blogging three months ago” and there’s some comments on this athiesm thing I made that were all like “Hey buddy, that’s not athiesm!  You need to wise up!” so now I’m all like, “For God’s sake – can’ t these athiests just go to hell?”.

Get this into your head, athIEst.  You are not special, you are not the exception, you are not better than other words.  Why are you so hell-bent on changing things?  My mind (much like the messaiah) is made up, and there isn’t a logical argument in the entire spectrum of existance that could make me change it in your favour.  The best you can hope for is to change yours, and pretend it’s what you wanted all along, like the time you got a Barbie for christmas when you actually wanted a Ken.

What gave me a little chuckle was the fact that there are different kinds of athiesm (notice how the I comes before the E).  There’s “Implicit” athiesm, where you don’t directly say you’re an athiest, but allow people to assume it.  Then there’s “Explicit” athiesm, where you have to put a sticker on the front of your album so that 12 year olds can’t buy it.  After some careful research, and hours of googling, I have discovered that there is a new Audi that will park itself, and will come and pick you up when you push a little button on your iphone.  It’s like owning a James Bond car!  Back to the point, butt seriously; check it out!

The difference between these two kinds of athiesm (pretend the I is a woman, and the E is you – oh wait now I see why you spell it the other way.  You could be even more accurate and leave the I out entirely) is who fucking cares besides athiests?  Honest to God – I have never found anything I care less about.  I’d rather discuss the finer points of peeling a carrot.  Now, the last point that was thrown blindly in my direction with hands that are overly familiar with water-based lubricant is that just because an intelligent person holds a certain world view, doesn’t make that world view right.  Well, DUH!  As evil as he was, I’d say Hitler must have been reasonably intelligent to have gotten as far as he did, but you don’t see people using him as an example to win arguments, do you?  Suck that down with a hot steamy dose of diarrhea, and leave me alone.

Seriously, go away.


About harrypeat

I'm a happy-go-lucky chap with a zest for life and the resting heart rate of a yellowfin tuna. I love long walks on the beach at dusk, paintings of elderly couples, and vegan dinners by candlelight. As well as being a talented rhythmic jazz guitarist, I am a part-time vblogger and all-round gymnast.
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