Monthly Archives: June 2013

See ya.

I’m off to work for a few months.  Toodles.

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Name that cretin

Frank Zappa (or Zapsy, as I call him) is better known for giving his children stupid names than his music and that is entirely his own fault.  Way to make a name for yourself, Zapsy.  Pun totally intended there.  In … Continue reading

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Fucking painting.

My flat is a bit shit.  There is mould coming through some of the walls and holes that aren’t supposed to be there, and a weird shitey smell outside.  A while ago some scum made a bonfire outside that had … Continue reading

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What the hell is wrong with you?

Dear woman across the room,   You look fit, and your boobs are ample.  You’re looking at me in a manner that suggests you are very moist.  I come over to chat to you, and you are so up for … Continue reading

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It’s not a religion

Atheist (or athiest) is an annoying word to write.  Does i come before e or not?  Apparently this word thinks it’s special and has decided to go against the rule.  Well, for the rest of this post consider yourself a … Continue reading

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Get out of my country

Scotland is normally quite a welcoming place, and accepts tourists (and their money) with open arms.  I hate tourists, and what is certain to piss me off is meeting a certain type of tourist that shows up every summer.  The … Continue reading

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Filming the filming of a documentary

A long time ago, me and my woman saw a BBC trailer for a documentary about penguins.  It was called “A spy in the huddle” or something, and it looked kind of interesting.  I don’t normally give a shit about … Continue reading

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Animals have problems

If you’re ever having a religious moment, and for more than three seconds consider intelligent design to be valid, punch yourself in the face.  I mean it.  Look at pandas and then think about how intelligent the designer of the … Continue reading

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Trout Mask Replica

I have a strange friendship.  Deep down, we love each other and it’s the bromance to end all bromances. But we pretend we hate each other, and take a bit too much pleasure from it.  I am shocked to still … Continue reading

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Fucking Poetry

I hate 99% (possibly more) of poetry that isn’t set to music, and plenty that is.  So when I finished the last article (that shit I wrote about raw food freaks) and haplessly stumbled upon a poem, I was less … Continue reading

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